Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Doctors' views

My friend Mike keeps a close eye on political developments and he has just sent me an analysis of Mr Osborne's recent proposal to make savage cuts to improve the health of the economy. It seems that the British Medical Association has taken a survey of doctor's opinions on this therapy, and since this column is called 'A Doctor's View' I thought I should pass these opinions on, even if they make you cringe.

The Dermatologists advised against any rash moves and wanted to scratch it.

The Gastroenterologists had a gut feeling it was going to hurt,

The Neurologists thought Osborne had a nerve.

The Obstetricians felt all politicians labour under a misconception.

Ophthalmologists felt it was short-sighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Paediatricians shouted, "Oh, just grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists claimed to see right through it.

Surgeons knew plenty about cuts, and felt we should wash our hands of the whole thing.

The ENT specialists wouldn’t hear of it.

The Physicians thought it would be a bitter pill to swallow.

The Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."

The Anaesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no, but the Urologists were pissed off about it.

In the end, the BMA accepted the views of the Proctologists, and will leave the final decision to those a**eholes in Westminster.


  1. I though the proctologists couldn't be arsed to comment

  2. Ho, ho, ho! It was a hurried survey and they probably asked them to get their finger out. This is apparently one of Prince Philip's favourite phrases...I've no idea what it means. I asked a gynaecologist once and he said it was all speculation.