Thursday, 11 November 2010

Language difficulties

Being an old fogey I blame television for lots of things,quite apart from Anne Widdecombe's 'combs'. Younger readers may need to ask Granny exactly what 'combs' are (pronounced komms).

I blame television for making swearing respectable for instance, especially by young people. Sure, we all swore occasionally years ago, but we knew we shouldn't and if we did, we'd apologize. Nowadays, in this permissive age, if you don't like my language you can f*** off.

As a result, swearing hs lost its power, though one of my middle-aged friends took his aged mother on a Peace March some years and was amazed by what she shouted at a heavy-handed policeman, and by the result it had.

It can be quite amusing when old ladies swear (vide Catherine Tait on TV), but it's less amusing coming from a foul-mouthed, badly-behaved child.

My friend Jim told me about his grandsons, aged 4 and 7. Apparently they'd decided it was time they stuck up for themselves and they'd use swear-words whenever they felt like it. They decided they'd begin at breakfast-time the next morning.

"What would you like for breakfast this morning?" Mummy brightly asked the 7 year-old.
"Ah shit Mum, you never bloody learn do you, you know I always have the frigging Coco-Pops"

THWACK! He was sent flying across the kitchen floor with a clattering of chairs, then he painfully picked himself up and ran upstairs howling.

The pale,tight-lipped Mummy turned to her 4 year-old.

"And what would you like young man?"

His eyes filled with tears.

"I don't know Mummy, but it won't be f*cking Coco-Pops"


  1. Did he ring child line, that's what they do if you hit them now isn't it?

  2. I always think you shouldn't be allowed to swear until you fully understand exactly when you can and can't do it without offending anyone. (Hence children swearing being a fist clenching experience).
    Once you've learnt when not to do it though, creative swearing in like-minded company is jolly good fun.