Saturday, 4 September 2010

Bloody awesome.

My friend Mike cannot really be described as a religious person but he is clearly intrigued by my recent explanation of (he calls them rants about) the finer points of the Creation of the Universes because he's sent me an account of the Australian Creation story, which I had failed to mention. I'd expected it to be about Aboriginal Songlines and Dreamtime and Giant Serpents but there's more to it than that.

In the beginning,it seems, on the First Day of Creation, God created Day and Night. The Day was for footy matches and barbeques and going to the beach, and the Night was for going prawning and sleeping; and God saw that it was good.

On the Second Day God created the oceans for surfing and swimming; and God saw that it was good.

On the Third Day God created the Earth, to bring forth plants and provide food, and malt and hops for beer, and wood for barbeques; and God saw that it was good.

On the Fourth Day God created animals to provide chops, sausages, steak and prawns for barbeques; and God saw that it was good.

On the Fifth Day God created a Bloke to go to the footy,enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at the barbie; and God saw that it was good.

On the Sixth Day God saw the Bloke was a bit lonely and needed a soulmate to share his pleasures on the beach and around the barbie. So God created Mates and they were all good Blokes; and God saw that it was good.

On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling barbie fires on the beach. He heard the gentle roar of the surf, the hiss of the opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of the Blokes. He smelled the aroma of the grilled chops and the sizzling prawns and he saw that it was good,...BUT He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up. So God created Sheilas, to clean up the barbie, to bear and look after the children, to wash, to cook, to sew and to do the shopping, and then God saw that it was not just good, it was Bloody Awesome!



  1. I am sucking my teeth at you and tutting :-)

    It is nigh on impossible to get my son to do any kind of cleaning up because, he surmises, it is 'my' job.

    I don't know WHERE he's getting that from because his dad is the tidiest man alive and I'm the most slatternly house-keeper you're likely to come across.

    Maybe he's heard your creation story ;-)

    Ali x

  2. You might have some competition on this side of the pond, Ali. My better half wouldn't recognize a sweeping brush if she found it in her cornflakes.
    I was berating our son for leaving his clothes on the floor last night and he said, "well, Mommy does it. You don't make her do it". No son, I don't, I have more sense than to open that can of fish bait.

    Great book John, I'm halfway through. Now where did I put it.