Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Reigning cats and dogs

Since my mind is currently filled with matters theological, this seems as good a time as any to tell you how God made Dog.

It seems that Adam and Eve were lonely and were being their usual whingeing, complaining human selves (see 'Sick Notes' by G.P. Dr Tony Copperfield, yesterday's Post), so God said "I will create a companion for you, and regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this companion will always love you as I do, and will always accept your many faults".

And so God created Dog, a reflection of his own name.

After a while an Angel came to God and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They believe they are worthy of adoration, because Dog worships them".

And so God decided to create another companion for them, to remind them of their limitations. He wished to teach them that although Dog seemed to worship them, because they appeared Omnipotent and Omniscient (they often answered his prayers when he begged for a biscuit, they could open doors, and they punished him when he chewed expensive handbags), they were not in fact God.

And God created Cat.

And when Adam and Eve gazed into the eyes of Cat, they recognized that they were not the Supreme Beings on Earth.

And God was pleased.

And Dog wagged his tail.

And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.

Just a little reminder of the well-known fact that Dogs have owners and Cats have staff.

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