Looking good

People who really care what they look like need to know about skin-care.

The British Association of Dermatologists recently launched their own new beauty-brand called 'Ultimate Skin Care'. The product was marketed in a snazzy gold jar by Kindred, an agency known for its message-based marketing strategy, and the House of Fraser kindly allowed the product to be show-cased in the beauty hall of their prestigious Oxford Street store.

Each jar of 'Ultimate Skin Care' contained only a small mirror and instructions on how to carefully check the skin for signs of sun damage and possible pre-malignant changes.

The message is, don't waste your money on expensive moisturisers and nourishing creams, just stay out of the sun. My wife did that and she looks fantastic for (censored).

Of course, most people don't do that, so if you can't be good, be careful. Follow the Australian advice to 'Slip on a T-shirt, Slap on a hat and Slop on the sun-block'.

At least the British Association of Dermatologists know what they're talking about. I'm less confident about the scientific brains behind some other products on the market.

Delta Laboratories, for example, specializes in 'cosmetic formulations'. One of the products listed on their website at www.bit.ly/specialingredient is "Placental extract, vegetable or animal". Now which vegetables have a placenta, I wonder?

I suspect the British Association of Dermatologists is wasting its time. Beauty creams, like beautiful shoes, are essential for the female psyche. Some time ago my friend's wife pointed out to him that they had an overdraft and she made him promise to economize on his sizeable drinks bill. After a couple of months he noticed that though his drinks bill had drastically reduced, new beauty products were still cluttering up their bathroom. Not being a New Man (i.e. not yet deconstructed and reconstructed), and being in fact a brave Old Man, he felt he had to mention this discrepancy.

"Oh darling" she said "You don't want me to give up using beauty products do you? They're just to make me look beautiful for you".

"Yeah? What do you think the booze was for?"

I told you he was brave.